CAMPUS BREAK- UP: PART 1

“Un-break my heart

Say you’ll love me again, undo this hurt you caused

When you walked out the door, and walked out of my life

Un-cry these tears, I cried many nights

Un-break my heart, my heart…”

Toni Braxton sang these lines in the famous song ‘Un-break my heart’; no doubt all time powerful lyrics for anyone experiencing a low concerning matters love; but this was not exactly what was playing on Sarah’s playlist that fateful morning. How was she to know that such a day would come and include the song on her playlist beforehand? Trey Songz’ ‘Heart Attack’ was playing instead. Anyone who has listened to the song knows how piercing the lyrics are, you could almost smash the radio when the song comes up!

 She could almost feel a heart attack coming. What was to be the most horrendous roller coaster of her life had just begun. Those who have ever experienced a heart break opine that the passion and pain that comes with it can only be compared to death. She had just gotten the text from him. Six cold words that were to see her plunge into emotional trauma and near alcohol abuse for the next three years. “I am done with you Sarah”. That is all he said; it all ended in a snap, just as it had began. She was not crying, but was in some sort of trance; almost as if wishing it was her imagination playing games on her. It was 5 in the morning; she had been up early to read for her exams until when she got the text.

Steve had dated her for almost six months now: by campus standards that can be rated as a mature relationship; one where almost everyone on campus knows that the two of you are an item. But this was not exactly the case with Steve and Sarah. There’s had been a special relationship; the sort that is hidden from the glaring public eye. Just something closely knit between the two of them. It was a Bill Clinton- Monica Lewinsky sort of arrangement. But that was not the issue now, what was disturbing her mind right now was that it was over and yes, it was partly her fault but still she was hurting. It was still a heartbreak regardless of who had caused it. Her love life had been a riot all through and just when she thought she had finally settled down, love pulled a fast one on her.

 She tried to recall the events of the previous night amidst the shock. They had quarreled over an issue; she had consequently done something out of anger; something that was to haunt her for the rest of her life. That is the weakness with women; they cannot hold back once their anger has been provoked. She knew it was over for good. He was not the kind of man that went back on his word. It should have been long over before it started, but she swore she loved him. He knew she had fallen for him so badly and he did all he could to start the relationship with her. She was not sure if he felt the same for her but nevertheless she just wanted him near, her feelings for him almost bordered on obsession; it was this intimate thing that she could not quite explain.

 He did not give her as much as she gave him, but still she just wanted him around.  Not that he was to-die-for or anything, he was just a random guy lucky enough to have two women love him at a go. He was your average player sort of guy. Not so good looking but likeable nevertheless. Unknown to her is that Steve had been using her as a cushion whenever he and Molly had fights, they were always fighting; you see, Molly was Steve’s main girlfriend, everyone knew they were an item but a man has to spread his seeds far and wide, right? That is the main reason he was with Sarah, just for the fun of it but she ended up falling for him. To him she was just one in the many women he was out to have random fun with.

Sarah was not necessarily his kind of girl; he was just not into her. She was a free spirit- the sort that is automatically very interesting in bed. That was just it; the free and randomly enjoyable sex is what he liked. Sex and love cannot however, be synonymous. The former satisfies the physical while the latter takes care of what all women wish for, emotional fulfillment.

 Steve could never love her, hard as he tried, he just could not do it. He wished he could even just a little to reciprocate her feelings towards him but he couldn’t. Molly was trouble; she was full of drama and very clingy but she is the one he loved and could not trade her for anything, not even Sarah; selfish, huh? Molly had been there for him through the most difficult of situations and knew a lot of his family secrets and to him this was a bond he could not just break anyhow; especially not for someone he had known in just six months. Like any kawaida campus guy he didn’t mind having some fun on the side though; he had never intended to make Sarah fall for him.

Sarah had been aware of all this all along: at least he had not lied to her. As she sat on her bed pondering about what had just happened, she was distraught. She could already feel the break up weighing down on her. She hated him for being so selfish and choosing Molly over her. Her female ego could not register this kind of defeat she knew it was going to tear her apart. All she wanted was a chance to show Steve how much he loved him but son of a gun had decided to end things because she had confronted Molly that night and ended up beating her badly.

 She had let herself down. She was the kind of lady who was respected by her peers and was quite smart. This however was about to be put to the very test as she undertook a rough journey of excessive alcohol abuse, tears, drama and lesbianism in an attempt to forget  him and move on.  Will she come out of this in one piece? Will she be able to find herself back after this? Is he even worth all the mess she caused herself? Most importantly, will he ever un-break her heart as Toni Braxton puts it in her song? The plot thickens in the second part coming up …