Not so long ago, before social space was suffocated by blondies like Huddah, there existed a
smart hooker called Sue. Her blog ‘Nairobi Nights’ provided for
entertaining yet deep and thought- provoking accounts of what twilight girls
encounter while in line of ‘duty’. She narrated her K- Street tales with a rare
kind of boldness that left moral police scampering for safety while men of
different nationalities were attracted to her blog in droves like moths on a
light. She broke down her escapades or episodes
as she referred to them in a bare- knuckled manner, not as graphic as one would
imagine of a prostitution blog but still with a raw creativity and smartness
that left most of us glued to her blog.
Her blog profile intro read: “These are thoughts, observations and
experiences from my prostitution world. Nothing of the soft, sympathy seeking
topsy- turvy kind, but straight talk, hard facts and real anecdotes.”
And so for a year or so she built for herself a successful
brand as a ‘prostitution blogger’ and even got sponsorship from some local and
international online publishers to write several e-books on sex and
prostitution. Sex sure does sell. She claimed to have been a Law student before
dropping out in favor of prostitution. She set a personal best record of
sleeping with a thousand men in her first year on the streets (she did ten
years). Sue however stopped blogging claiming to have quit the streets after
finding a regular job.
With the benefit of first- hand info about prostitution from
Sue’s blog, I sought to draw parallels between that and what we perceive to be
‘relationships’ in mainstream dating especially within campus.
Excerpts from Sue’s blog will be in red text:
“When you earn a living having
sex, like I do, it’s no longer sin. There is nothing to cause the adrenaline
rush […] the other day a man in a new Jeep picked me around 10pm [...] “I want
to report my wife” he said as we drove to the Central Police Station. The
police are not our best friends and wherever possible we keep our distance. But
here he was taking me, almost naked and with ‘prostitute’ written all over me,
to a police station […] He drove straight to the compound, and parked near a
bus whose passengers some two policemen were frisking. We had sex there. It
didn’t last ten minutes, but it was the sweetest and most exciting sex I have
had in a long time…”
Many of us in campus come from regular Kenyan families where
religion and morality are deeply rooted. How many people however call sex
between them and their girlfriends/ boyfriends fornication? In a relationship
setting in campus, having sex is usually nothing to feel guilty or even give
second thoughts about. What makes you different from Sue and her ilk when in a
drunken stupor you and your guy decide to romp at a club’s parking lot? Does
being in a relationship then make randy sex any different than when it is done
by twilight girls? What is the difference between the guy having sex with his
girlfriend and the one who picks one from the brothels or streets? Aren’t both
driven by a common need for sex?
“There have been discussions about
the politically correct way to refer to prostitutes […] The truth is however we
don’t give quite a damn about how we are referred […] We actually refer to
ourselves and to each other as Malaya; a name perhaps more crude than
prostitute. But we are not the only Malaya, very many men in their 20’s and
30’s refer to their girlfriends as Malaya […] the underlying logic is that all
women in a way or another are prostitutes. Very few, if any, women would say
with a straight face that they never had sex even once with money or security
component at the back of their minds. We so called prostitutes are the brave
ones to come out in the open and stop beating around the bush; we are in it for
the money, the pleasure is secondary…”
There you have it ladies. Sue in her characteristic un-
apologetic and non- sentimental fashion bared facts for all of us. Truth be
told, most men would rather think of you as their sex toy than their future
wife, that’s if there is any glimmer of hope that he’ll end up marrying you.
All that men want from you is sex, the rest are just formalities imposed on
them by fire- breathing feminists. “Hi
Velma, your blog is very creative, I like it!”- He secretly wants to sleep
with me. “I like how graciously you
walk!”- He’s wondering what other maneuvers my body can do.
Basically the first thing that comes to a man’s mind when a
woman is mentioned is sex. And the same way he is sleeping with you is the same
way he will pick a girl from the street to sleep with her. Money, money, money!
All women light up at the mention of this scarce resource. In college the
incentive for sleeping with a boyfriend is normally free regular meals and or
drinks, credit, cash and other whatnots. Notice how you normally sulk when your
boyfriend shows up at your door with no goodies like some shopping or
chocolate?! That is prostitution right there, there is no other way to refer to
the act of pegging an incentive on sex. If a girl asks money from a boyfriend
and for some goddamned reason he is unable to do so, chances of being denied
the honey pot for days or weeks are very real. You are making him pay for it
sweetie and that’s prostitution right there.
“Men in their 30’s and
20’s are a weird lot. They are most likely to swindle a prostitute for no good
reason other than thinking it is macho to do so. They are also with ego
problems. They want a girl to scream, moan and cry in bed […] When a girl is
indifferent they feel lesser men […] A man picked me yesterday, near Kengeles,
at around one in the morning. We agreed on a figure of two thousand shillings,
only to say he only had half the amount […] I wasn’t sure whether he was lying
but by virtue of his age, he looked early thirties, probably he was. So I
didn’t fake an orgasm, like I usually do. I just stared blankly at the man as
he panted, thrusting on top of me. Not a sound left my mouth, my body didn’t
twitch and I didn’t smile. It was my way of getting back at him for
shortchanging me. As I was clapping inside, looking at him getting frustrated
on realizing he wasn’t having an effect on me […] But I have to make good men
feel great. I fake the pleasure; I wiggle, get into fits and cry out their
name. Do that to a man and he won’t feel a pinch when you ask for more cash […]
I have noted men react in two ways when a girl is indifferent… First, the man
will dislike the girl and never want to see her again. They dare not bruise
their egos again. Second the man might want to redeem himself and his ego by
sleeping with the girl again, hoping and praying the girl responds positively
[…] After our last round of sex and ready to leave I said to him “That your
thing disappears inside me, I can’t feel it at all.”
If you truly loved a guy would he ever have to live with the
constant fear that he probably doesn’t match up to your sexual expectations and
that you’re probably discussing that with your girlfriends? I know of many a
frustrated man in college who have been held at ransom in relationships either
because their gun shoots at low range or they are kihii. They are too embarrassed to leave knowing that they were
lesser men and so they stick around and use all manner of tactics including
dishing out cash to cover up for their shortcomings.
A popular statistic carried out by Lord knows who seeks to
hammer the final nail in the coffin by suggesting that 80% of women fake it.
Some of my friends confess to faking it for various reasons and love is never
part of it. Such women always wait for the guy to push any wrong button like
cheating and they won’t hesitate to pull a Sue on them. Why all the
manipulation if you claim to be in a relationship? The economics of using that
tactic only applies where the desired results should inflict maximum
psychological damage to a man while giving a woman an upper hand bargaining
position. Hardly sounds like a relationship situation.
“In the formal companies
the longer you stay the higher you rise, and the more your pay. In our trade on
the streets; the opposite happens; your value decreases as your experience
increases. Quoting five years of experience is a turn- off. Many a girl gets to
prostitution telling themselves they won’t do it for more than a few months […]
But a year goes and another still on the street. The optimal experience is
about a year [...] after a year there is a plateau and then the downward curve
starts.”
We have all heard of the gold
rush that happens in campuses when freshmen join college. What makes men
dump their girlfriends in senior classes for freshmen? Why is it that there
will be more men running after you while in your freshman year than in final
year? Why do women stick to quoting the numbers ‘one’ or ‘two’ when prospective boyfriends inquire about the number
of men they’ve slept with? If one is a virgin the easier it is to nail any guy.
The parallels in this case are too clear for me to offer any more insight.
While money is good, there is a potential danger if it is the
only motivation to get into a relationship. Some liberal women say that sio sabuni yenye itaisha; I beg to
differ. After several years or months of sleeping with a guy one does not love
(or one who does not love them), it can become both psychologically and
physically maxing. Enduring ugly habits like cheating or physical violence all
for money is the easiest way to get a front row ticket to hypertension and
eventually unhappiness. If sex is the only thing that keeps your relationship
going, you might want to refer to yourself as a prostitute, that’s if he hasn’t
referred to you as that already.
*****
Am still intrigued by the 80% women that fake it statistic.
That means that only 20% of men got game. No comment.
yeah... that's the answer to your question..
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